Insomniac.

1:26:00 AM

Sometimes, when I'm too tired to write, I just lay there, vacantly taking up space and giving nothing in return. I do this knowing that I could think of the most fantastic things, but I instead decide not to think at all, for fear that I think of something wonderful, not have the energy to write it, and therefore never remember it. I do the same thing when there isn't paper in the vicinity, or the option of writing a full thought. Sometimes I'll even stifle a thought that I can tell would be interesting, because if it is intriguing it will cause me that much more anxiety when I forget it. How terrible is that? Incredibly terrible. This is the sort of self-induced insanity I find insomnia driving me to. The good news is that I booked my flight to India today, which makes happier than I can possibly explain. I walked out of the travel agency on cloud nine, smiling at strangers, and eventually laying down in sun-soaking gratitude on a random bench on campus (I'm sure the perfect weather added to my pleasure). Perhaps even greater was the feeling I got when I successfully decided on a research emphasis. I can't even begin to explain how perfectly things fell into place, how I could find such an all-encompassing yet simple and obtainable research proposal is nothing short of a miracle. Due to my insomniatically decreased brain function we'll save this topic for tomorrow. (However, at this point, tomorrow is technically today). Well, until today actually begins, I hope you are sleeping better than I am.

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